3.18.09
test

1.16.09
make tortillas

i dont know when i first got the notion to make tortillas
it was some time right before university started
i never understood corn tortialls before
they always used them at the flea market taco trucks
but they had an unusual taste to them
then i tried making them
and eating them
still hot, steaming in a towel
with grilled flank
and salsa
i made tortillas today
with flax seeds in them
making tortillas is good
let's make tortillas

1.12.09
i have a podcast
remember that?
i updated it

1.7.09
ajiwaukoto

short peace
vietnamese drip
shokou shu
amontilliado
ofuro
nag champa
jinko
water

1.4.09
in a world where "what's that?" is no longer a relevant question
2009

12.9.08
you can have everything

ojai summer 2005
we took a hike to a swimming hole
which is already a very fetishized idea
from my father's time not mine
it was a long hike and we were not prepared
we didnt have enough water and it was extremely hot
we got to the swimming hole and there were some guys jumping off rocks
which seemed kind of scary
so we hiked a little more
and came to a spot with large smooth rocks and some water
the sun was getting low
and we sat on the rocks absorbing their heat
we all sort of sat seperatly
i dont know if the other people were thinking about all the things i was thinking about
life and death
and everything
it was one of those moments
when you feel everything
you know that something very important is happening

you can have everything (if you want it)
everything exists (even love)

and when you think back on that moment
it is similar to the feeling you have
when you listen to the best song ever
we walked back to the car
on the way back i couldnt stop thinking about that spot
where i had experienced something
but i couldnt share it with anyone
we got in the car and started to drive home
i looked at her and she smiled


12.8.08
i like what you've done with the place

waves
beating down the waves

get the internet
and you start to realize that there is information
on everything
and it is linked to everything
you start seeing this information in your everyday life
for example
a rash
this could be a symptom
surely there is information on the internet about this
whoah bad idea
then you sort of get a feel for the way things are connected
you know what kind of results you will find without even searching
and it starts to get even further abstracted
you start imagining everything
linked to everything
which is something
that is very problimatic to internalize

do you feel that you are viewing yourself from the 3rd person sometimes?
yes
and you are totally out of control of your own actions?
no, never
then what?
just the reverse, i am totally in control and everyone around me is out of control
what's controlling them?
stuff, mostly
what do you feel when you see yourself?
that i am in on the joke
and who is playing the joke?
everyone is playing the joke on eachother
how did you escape it then?
i guess i wasnt interested in the lead in bit,
you know the part where a guy walks into a bar.
what's the punchline of the joke?
a guy walks into a bar. OUCH!
death?
yeah, death
but you cant escape death, even if you don't care about the joke
yeah, but caring about the joke takes a hell of a lot of concentration
in fact all of it
and when you stop concetrating you start to realize everything going on around you
you start to see you
from outside of you

11.13.08
inonakanokaeru
the frog in the well

knows not of the great ocean
it is futile to tell it about the ocean

you can be free!
but it's futile

hi there im from the ocean
and even though you were very close to me
to you leaveing the well was stepping off the edge of a flat earth

11.12.08
peace and hope

and kanpeace
50 peaces(pieces?) in a can
id have to say that the last few months have not been a particullary good streak
just sort of average
scatterd with half promises i half kept
and dotted with moments of trying really hard
and not trying at all
if i could just keep a few promises all of the time
and try minimally hard most of the some
i wonder what would happen?

promise #31
touch no money

i currently have no money in my wallet
i havent had any for a week
i want to see if i can go a month
without touching money
except that i have money somewhere in my bag in case i see something really shiney

promise #7
learn japanese

i look up tens of words every day in my dictionary
words that ive heard at least once before get saved in the memo
i then put them into an awesome flashcard program called
genius
and the i review them every night before i go to bed
except i don't
and it only happens a few days a month

promise#55
keep my apartment clean all the time

im sure you all know how this one goes
my strategy is to have nothing
so i have nothing to get messy
but dishes
dishes!

11.11.08
dear internet bros

i need some allsorts licorice
for eating
can you send me some?
that probably costs you money
i will give you this money

11.3.08
climbed and climbed
finally came over the hill
started to gather momentum
the bike stabilized
took my hands off the handle
stood my body up straight
closed my eyes
and waited
for as long as i could take it
i opened my eyes and i was still going straight
tried it again
was totally off track
you never know


10.31.08
jeez jeez haruki murakami in japanese

im reading my first novel in japanese
it takes me less time to read a page in japanese than it does in english
but that is only when i know how to read everything on the page
when i dont
it takes 5 minutes

entry aborted

10.26.08
things in artists houses

sewing machine
taxidermied animals
records
wall of pictures in different frames
things hanging from the ceiling
macs
nudes / sexual things on display
huge bookshelves full of art books
leicas
porcelin kitch
new york apartments
old tools
suitcases
photos/paintings/drawings of themselves
beautiful siginificant others
always non-standard light fixtures
old photos
magazine collections
nice shoes
bikes
skulls/skeletons/human figures


10.23.08
an excerpt from my post apocalyptic novel

the fire in the neighborhood near the house i am staying in now really scared me
who knows what caused it
probably some rotten battery or a magnifying glass in a windowsill
but it's still burning
todays plan:
blow up all the houses around my house and burn them one by one
then i will bulldoze the rubble somewhere and collect plants from the nursaries
this week i am exploring block S-32 on the map
most of that block is taken up by a jr highschool
i always imagined finding other people and starting a commune in an old school
but it still freaks me out to go to one that is totally empty.
this month i have to go to tokyo
i am hoping to find the offices of google intact
there they have a cache of the text of all the websites they index
this will go into the library i am building back in osaka
driving is always dangerous because of the animals
the route is mostly clear but if i run into a pack of tanuki it could be all over
and the last time i tried to teach myself to fly i almost killed myself
there has been a smell spreading over the city over the last week
a very metallic smell
it is coming from the water i figured out
i pumped some out of the main that i always use and it reeked
it must be the activity of some bacteria
but the water is no longer safe to drink
i will go back to distilling rainwater
the place i am living now is a pre ww2 mansion
i heard stories that durin the war the old man who lived here alone would come out
to sell tresures he had collected for whatever food he could find
everyone was starving
after the war his house was taken by the govenment, slowly, by the new tax system
and turned into a museum parody of itself that was only open on the first sunday of the month
the house is getting pretty full
i still can't help myself, i bring home all kinds of stuff
i have raided all the museums and after i found the explosives raided everything else
even after 3 years i have still only explored 1.3% of what i can reach by car in a day
there is plenty of food
but the 3 year rice tastes pretty bad compared to what i used to eat
there are still more sardines in cans than there are in the ocean



10.21.08
never work (for money) again - thought 1

not working for money is even harder work than working for money
ya get my drift?

start by "owning" the things you dont own
you don't own the electricty or other utilities
these can be described as things you lease
you don't even own the property that you may think you "own"
the govenment owns your property and you lease it from them every year when you pay property taxes
you certainly don't own your identity in the way we know it now
your id cards, birth certificate, etc are your identity and they are not yours

there are some things you cant, or won't want to own.
for example owning water means you need to own land with the well on it
these things go on the list of things that are essentially free
not free as in beer
but free as in air

living in a system that uses money means you will have to rely on the system's leaks
dumpster diving
charity
the blind spots of society
loopholes
feedback loops

if you use the remaining money you have as a "monied" person you can set up a good loop
for example renting out a property you own to pay it's taxes and upkeep
live in a small shelter on the same property
this is a money loop you never have to touch, it takes care of its self for the most part
that leaves you

so now you have to worry about you
without money you will die
you will die before you would die if you had money
no money to pay for healthcare means just that
if you participate in whatever welfare system there is you can extend your life

there are a lot of ways to do it
so quit your job today

10.19.08
shower

wash hair with massage brush
wash face with scrub
brush teeth / scrape toungue
wash body with puff
shave
wash nose again
dry
apply pore stuff (wait 5 min)
apply antiperspirant
apply conditioner
dress
apply face lotion with spf

way too complicated

10.2.08(cusp)
a portrait of a john, 25 years old

another day
another dollar
another ring around the collar

i'll be twenty five
tomorrow
i'll put my thoughts here
and then look at them next year

people are more important
people are really easy to read
this year people were really important

things are less important
throw them away
and you will be free

collect tools
knowledge is a tool
but only the good tools
the proven tools
and the new tools
whose relivency can be determined
by experience

you are lucky
very lucky
but that is also a burden

do whatever you can do
to keep your mind sharp

vanity is stupid
don't participate in it

you can work every day
you can never work
either way you will survive
because you are participating in a system
which prevents failure

damn, i dont have the right inspiration
to write this now
goodnight 24


9.30.08
a conversation i had with my father in a dream

what was it like to be a janitor?
is was the best ever.
what was so great about it?
well basically you sleep all day go into the school after most people leave
wax the hallways and vacuume the classrooms
wipe down the blackboards
thats about it
you have your own office
and if you are effcient you can finnish cleaning and just sleep until it's time to go home
and it's govenment so you get health benifits etc
i can imagine nowadays if you brought a laptop it could be great
yeah
so why did you leave it?
basically i needed more money for the family and you just sort of get burned out
you can only goof off for so long in the same place before people get uptight
i bet the atmosphere of a school at night is pretty good
all the energy of the kids is sort of soaked into the walls and floors
the air is thick with constuction paper and the smell of sunshine coming from the big windows
yeah, you really notice the seasons for some reason
sure beats being a teacher

---

what did you just say?
no
what did you just say!
you just said it!
the word!
i was trying to think of

---

when my alarm went off this morning
i was lying on my back
and the tip of my nose was cold
really cold
i opened my eyes and the light was blinding so i closed them
and i saw floating in front of me black text on a white background
its format was that of an email
it was from julia
and the topic of the letter was fall
the first line applogized for the appearence of the text
it was the best she could find on short notice
the rest of the letter was written in my style not her's
and went something like this:
you look down at the rain in the gutter from the open car door
some bright pink chewed up gum is tumbling down the stream
in your mind you see a colorful flashing neon sign
and you smell the smell of being hit in the head
hard
plus the smell of liquid amoxicillin
then the sound of whoppers being shaken in the box can be heard
and you see the front of a dentist's office
where the japanese maple is very striking in its fall colors
you smell the smoke from a chimney
but you know it is the firewood heating a bath
then blood of an animal being spilled
a burrito on a white plate
and crying

9.26.08
moving to japan helped me realize a lot of my dreams
working in a japanese restaurant was one of them
i am making a section of this website devoted to that
washoku

9.23.08
somewhere something is spinning very fast
it's spinning
somewhere something is burning very hot
it's burning


9.17.09
pineapple seeds

i bought a pine apple and ate it
the whole thing in one go
the strange thing was that it had seeds
little black hard seeds near the skin
so i threw them in a pot
and a few days later i have pineapple sprouts
does anyone want a pineapple plant?
they are bromeliads
they will grow you pineapples

9.16.09
tsukimi

the moon controls the tides
it controls the inner juices of man
once you see it you can't unsee it
yet every time you see it
it's new
because it's so far away
because there's so much stuff between you and it
so why can perception be like viewing the moon
if you look at the mona lisa once
you've seen the mona lisa
if you back 10 years later
and you look at the mona lisa
it's the same mona lisa
because there's no physical stuff between you and it
nothing perceptable
with your eyes
like the moon
if we could make all of that stuff that we can't see
that we can't perceive
like that stuff between us and the moon
then we could look at something for the first time
every time

9.15.09
today i bought hundreds of dollars of new bedding
a 90% goose down comforter
hemp comforter cover, matching pillow cases
two soba pillows
jersey fit sheet
cotton mattress pad with 3D baffel design
i ran around all day, but saved a ton of money in doing so
i didn't know anything about bedding until this morning
with the power of the internet a hour of research will bring you up to speed on anything
now i will surely sleep in supreme comfort this winter

9.12.09
i found the new thickest ramen ever
there is clearly a cauldron of bones boiling away behind the counter
imagine delcious elmers glue
with noodles in it
so good
you can get replacement noodles for 100 yen
if you eat all the noodles
one bowl of the soup would be enough to make 2 gallons of flavorful collard greens
and the name is
muteppou
which means
no gun

9.11.09
shaving is a story

cuture is the stories we tell
is an idea
i was exposed to in university
we tell them with language
(don't tell noam chompsky)
language is a virus
(don't tell laurie anderson or burroughs)
shaving is a story
stories just get better and better
we have the technology now to find the "writers"
of all the stories ever
(dont tell brian eno, or david byrne for that matter)
and they will make them and we will be exposed to them
the internet is a virus
it works on language
what will this do to culture?

--

autopilots

picture yourself winning the race
is something my swim coach told me when i was a kid
his name was joe
picture yourself moving through the water
picture the walls of the pool
picture the shoes of the spectators on the deck
picture the girl at the supermarket last night
when you remembered you were out of rice

going on autopilot is a well known phenomenon
you do something without thinking of doing it
in times when you don't want to be doing that thing
or when you have no choice in the matter

you picture yourself winning the race
the podium
etc
and when you hit the water
you think about nothing

how far can you expand your conciousness
to include as many things as possible
to include the girl in the supermarket
so that you can be present at the controls
when you want to be the pilot

when you are in the water it is like a replay
of the events you have already pictured
and everything should go as planned
he said

i went to the store to buy rice
i made complex decissions
and then i came home and realized
when my foot hit the pedal
that i thought of nothing
until i was eating hot rice

if you try to concentrate on everything all day
you will be very tired at the end
believe me, ive tried it
there are certain times you have to go on autopilot
where you indulge in what zen is searching for
but what if you could focus all the time
and save your ability to think about nothing
for a time when you have nothing to replay
nothing to go as planned
just go on autopilot
in a black box?

9.8.09
living in japan
has helped me view living in america again
with a pre-living in japan kind of wonderlust
25cent jawbreaker vending machines instead of gachagacha machines
diner food instead of kissaten
diversity instead of monoculture
all seem so new and fresh
exciting
like viewing them for the first time
it is great
perfect almost
two great tastes that taste great together

9.7.09
john
starting from next week there will be a section on the menu
with each individual cook's personal menu

there will be john's menu

just one item
it changes every week
so if you go to the market and think
i want to do this with that
do it and put it on the menu
i will not taste test it
that is the challenge
each person has their fans
john's fans will order john's menu
and tell you if it is good or not
also
this is john's knife rack now
and only john's knives are on it
and you should also think about getting your blowfish license
-
if my mentor really follows through with this plan
it will be a very big deal
in my world of washing dishes
and plating pickles

-
there is a certain flavor to languages
the flavor of japanese i really like
especially when explaining things
or processes
tastes great
less filling
american english
tastes smooth and flowing
like caramel
those good ones with the marshmallow in them
that they sell at the counter of drug stores
the effciency and flow of english is it's charm
i havent decided what japanese tastes like yet
but it's charm lies in individual words more than it's flow
words that contain so much meaning
it takes years to grasp their nuance
people say i speak beautiful japanese
probably because of my background in flow
what i want to speak is brutal japanese
so deft in it's effciency and word choice
that it is moving
but
that will take a long time

9.3.09
There is a kind of laundry drying shelter on the roof of my apartment.
I hung a hammock there.
I sit in the hammock and smoke my pipe.
Tonight it started raining heavily
and some of the neon on a far away building was flickering
i have a ftp client and a text editor in my pocket, i thought
i can tell people
about the neon

8.31.08
shikoku bike bonanza

bicycles are super efficient
traveling by boat is cheap and wonderful
we slept in parks and an internet cafe twice
i liked sleeping in parks but every bit of skin needs to be covered
and even then you get bitten by mosquitos
there are no mosquitos near flowing water
there are the most mostquitos in cities
the only things you need to carry:
tools, two pairs of socks and underwear, three layers, wallet, sungaurd, a water skin
things that are nice to have:
sleeping mat, gps cellphone with highspeed internet, rope, snacks, camera, water key, maps
riding 60km a day is easy
riding 60km on hills is really tiring, but it is temporary
riding 160km (about 12 hours) is tiring
matsuyama is a college town and is filled with beautiful women
takamatsu had no real charm
little towns on the expressway suck
little towns in the hills are cool
a 300 yen watermelon from a road stand was the best part of the trip for me
a 300 yen watermelon from a road stand was the best part of another trip i took too (!)
being homeless is easy
public baths are awesome but expensive (480yen a pop)
katsuo no tataki in kochi really lived up to the hype
breakfast is important for energy
bananas
john hit is head on a metal part of a pole just above his eye and left of his temple
it could have been very very bad
he was very lucky
old men stopped their cars ahead of us and took pictures with very pro cameras almost every day
something always went bump in the night
freedom is a very powerful and addictive feeling
the road next to the shimanto river is abandoned and beautiful
downhill feels amazing
i wish sleeping outside was legal and safe in america
i wish biking was more accepted in america



8.7.08
today i bought
a camera
a gps
a mp3 player
a wifi internet browser device
a celluar internet modem
a radio
an ip phone
a personal organizer
a video player
except they are all one device
and that device is a cell phone
with a replacable battery
and
copy and paste

i bought a nokia n95 because my old phone broke
if you think the iphone is hot shit check out the other smart phones


8.2.08
rocks
i can see how it would be easy to start a rock collection
in fact in my life ive started many
life is a series of rock collections

money
if you hate money
it is nice to be able to make it unseen
by putting it somewhere that doesnt even physically exist
it is just a concept that can be quantified on a computer of an atm
if you hate money it is nice to never even touch it
and when you have to use it to never think about it

animals
people look like animals
sometimes it strikes me how wierd it is that we are all wearing clothes
and hiding in buildings
and doing things like
blushing
making myths
working for things other than survival

aji
means flavor in japanese
but is used to describe patena
this rock has great flavor coming out
to make flavor come out of rocks you water them every day
to make flavor come out of a knife you use it every day
flavor is not something you can buy, unless you want someone else's flavor
some people love flavor and value it
other people want flavor to not exist
these are teflon people
faces have flavor
jeans have flavor
toilets
bars of soap
coat hangers
the marks left by repetitive use, however long or short
make up
disposable
most coatings
public persona/private persona dicotomy
air fresheners
these things are anti-flavor

7.15.08
things i fantasized showing a fictional tv show that visits people's houses at random:
how i make yogurt
my book collection
selected bizzare seasonings
knives
a collection of dried fish skin that i had arranged
my herb garden
the contents of my refrigerator
my 100% nutritionally complete breakfast schematic
my object appreciation pedistal
a slab of marble

7.8.08
black rain
rewatch
filmed in osaka
after meeting the location scout
it makes it different after living here
but not very
like LA filmed by the bad betamaxs of NHK

7.7.08
i bought shampoo today
it was really exciting
dont know why
but i really like looking for something
and then finding something that is what i was looking for
and then buying it

if i didnt have to pay rent
i use so little money every month
i get food from the restaurant
i ride a bike everywhere
the shampoo i bought was worth the same as
30 eggs
which would make 15 days of lunch

i kept a list of things i bought last month
trash bags
cucumbers
onions
a bar of soap
a meter of chain
a bottle of beer
sandpaper
and a few other things

all kinds of great stuff comes from people i know
which is just how it works in Japan
what they get in return is work from me
and gifts that i regift in strategic ways

i just need to get rid of the rent

7.3.08
my ideal blog would be
a page that sits on the server that is passoword protected
and can be acessed from any browser
it only has a few functions
new post, delete post, upload image, number of posts to display on main page
it is all text interface
it generates a simple html file that mimicks hand coding
all style related elements are delegated to a style sheet
no templates or fancy bullshit
im working on writing this software
the database is kept in text file seperated by month only


7.2.08

a'?a,ea??azz
the people surrounding me
are very useful
they help me understand things
that cant be understood internally
the price i pay for these revelations
is time
lots of time
they told me i was too honest
that to fit in in japanese cultue
i have to
"put mud on my head"
which in amercia is summed up with the phrase
"it's not you it's me"
so i am preparing various kinds of mud to put on

7.1.08

i went to a far away school today
it was a beautiful day
more than anything i wanted to climb the mountain behind the school
but i was stuck doing busy work
and the children didnt know they were trapped in the school
i remember the distinct feeling of being trapped at school
and thinking about all the great things i could be doing
on a beautiful day
like today

6.29.08
when you learn japanese in the kitchens of osaka
you learn a very specialized japanese that most average people cant understand
and you can amaze people with your knowledge about japanese culture as long as it is related to food
but you can still mess up and mistake one for two
and yes for no
but you can always speak english to people and make them feel how you feel all the time
it is really hard to change from japanese mode to english mode
i dont think i could ever do silmutanious translation
speaking japanese is like seeing a color that doesnt exist to people who speak english
and then trying to describe a color they have never seen to someone
is really hard
you end up have to compromise, or tell them all of the culture behind a single translation
im sure that most translators just give them the best aproxomation

6.27.08

another long/short week
feels really long, but goes by fast
i had a meeting to "tie the roots"
in order to pull a giant portable shrine
they ordered me a happi coat
this is the same connection who introduced me to the cooking job
i owe him a lot
of gratitude
and another friend of mine
who pays millions of dollars in taxes
wants to hang out more
and the govener's cronie keeps calling me
to hang out at his favorite okinawan restaurant
im not sure what i've gotten myself into
but maybe it will mean not having to sell it weekdays for a visa
just to do what i want (work) on the weekends
and have no days off in between

why is your nose so tall?
is something that i get asked all the time
from adults and kids
so tall
my nose

the internet is reaching a point now where it is so useful
that you can be so picky about what you want to find
and still find it
it is making me more of a configurist
but i cant keep up with it
and my creativity is lagging behind it's usfullness
so i'll have to give up configurism and fight back
with minimalism
im already winning
but craigslist still has me beat



6.22.08

i had a bad day at work
followed by a good day at work
it is hard to do pure japanese stuff
it is so alien
i need to keep up my connections
i get in a bad habit of not contacting people
that i want, and should, keep in touch with
im sorry

6.20.08

i had some really good takoyaki just now
they included little crispy bits of deep fried beef back fat
what a great idea
6 for 300yen


6.19.08

the bike parking police stole my bike
cut my 6000yen lock
and charged me 2500yen to get it out of impound
i told them they were bad people
and they should get jobs that are not based on making people unhappy, damaging property, and inconveniencing people

i bought half a meter of "boat chain"
there was no way you could cut it without leverage from the floor and a 80kg japanese man
the guy fell down a few times while cutting it for me
1500yen
i got an ok lock
500yen
then i went to the bike shop and asked for a punctured tube
i put the chain in the tube
and put the lock in some tube so it wouldnt damage my bike
i wanted to lock my bike to the front gate of the impound lot
or report my bike stolen and lead the police to them (with cut lock and bolt cutters! red handed!)

i met a monk on a mountain
he is running a temple all alone
at the top
we exchanged hellos and i asked him
what do you think of money?
and he said
money was made by people but not all things made by people are bad (like money)
why, take roads for example
but animals make roads too
without even knowing it
why, take deer for example
today i want you to meditate on this
if man could make money like deer make roads
he said to me

bicycle seats suck
they are made out of sponges
and when it rains they get wet
so im making one out of leather and silicon
leftovers from the bag

i have tried so many times to keep my place clean. what is the trick exactly?



podcast podcast.xml | Update Scanner